Beloved
April 28, 2024 + Faith-Lilac Way + Pastor Pam Stalheim Lane
Hon. Darl’n. Sweetie. I’m not sure if it is as true now as it used to be, but in the past if you went a small-town diner in the south the waitress might call you “Hon” or “Darl’n.” Or maybe, when you were a child, someone called you “princess” or “champ” or maybe you referred to a little one or a pet with an endearing word? It may have just been a habit in the South, but when said by someone who knows you, and who loves you, these little words are meant to express love and care and are meant to show that you are loved.
In our Gospel, using metaphor, Jesus says, “I am the Vine” and “You are the Branches.” Jesus knows you and loves you…and calls you “Branches.” It’s not an endearment that often comes to mind. I mean, what comes to mind when you think about vines and branches? I think about an interwoven tangled mess in which one vine overlaps another – and all are dependent upon the one vine that is rooted in the soil. So when Jesus says, “I AM the Vine.” You Are the Branches, Jesus is describing our relationship. We are dependent upon Jesus for life and for our very being and Jesus depends upon you and me to go out and bear the fruit that God has given us to bear.
This is why John calls you “Beloved. You are loved by God. This is the relationship that was claimed for you when you were baptized. You are God’s Beloved child and because of this love which God so freely gives to us through Jesus Christ, we can love others.
And this is what John calls us to do. John writes, “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God.” This is the life to which you are called. Or as Henri Nouwen writes, “You are invited to live the life of the Beloved.”
This sounds lovely. When I think of the life of the beloved living in community with one another, I think of a community in which people are accepting instead of judging, serving one another instead of demanding what’s theirs; listening to one another instead of shouting down or talking over the other. But how do we do that in our world that is so messed up? I’ll admit it can be overwhelming to hear the news of wars raging around the world, the horrible way that people are treated and the lack of civility displayed by leaders especially in social media. It is tempting to just shut it all off and ignore the problems of everyone else.
But when John writes, “Beloved, let us love one another,” I don’t think that he or Jesus is calling us to love only those in this room, and of this room only those who agree with you on everything. You’ll find that group gets really small… really fast. It reminds me of the story of a pastor who, with his wife, broke away from his church because he declared that they were all heretics – and then, looking at his wife, he said, “I’m not sure about you either.”
When we start isolating ourselves from the problems of the world and community around us, the circle gets small fast. This is not what John had in mind when he wrote, “Beloved, let us love one another.” And yet, during the pandemic, to keep people healthy, a lot of people ended up isolated. But, as we discovered, isolation isn’t healthy either.
Almost a year ago, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy declared a national epidemic of loneliness and isolation. He wrote, “Our epidemic of loneliness and isolation has been an underappreciated public health crisis that has harmed individual and societal health. Our relationships are a source of healing and well-being hiding in plain sight – one that can help us live healthier, more fulfilled, and more productive lives.”1
It turns out that loneliness is a problem for children, youth, and adults of all ages and this is not a problem that is happening in some far-off country. This is a problem that is happening in Robbinsdale, Crystal, New Hope, Plymouth, Maple Grove, Brooklyn Center, Brooklyn Park, Osseo, Big Lake, Wayzata, Minneapolis, Golden Valley, or wherever else that you live. This crisis is local. This crisis may be your crisis – but even if it is not – it is your neighbor’s crisis.
Nick Tangen, the Minneapolis Area Synod Director of Faith Practices, Neighboring Practices writes that this report ought to “light a fire in the bellies of churches across the country [because]… For generations churches and faith communities of all traditions have been beacons of social connection in the neighborhoods where they gather. It is faith communities who have so often gathered neighbors at the table for a shared meal, celebrated community with block parties, and connected children and youth with summer programming and outdoor ministry. This is an epidemic we are built to address.” 2
So how do we address this problem that is hiding in plain sight?
Perhaps the first step is to be honest about who we are. We are a community of imperfect people who make mistakes, and this is why we take time to confess our shortcomings, our sins and take time to receive forgiveness and reconciliation. We know that God loves and forgives – every time. No matter what it is that we have said or done. God loves you and forgives you.
I also want this place to be a place where we can be honest about who we are because we know that God loves us whether we are feeling like our best selves or whether we are hurting.
Unfortunately, churches have a reputation of being judging rather than accepting. But we want to change that reputation. God is the judge. We are called to love one another and to make this place a place where all people are welcome, a place where anyone can belong. So come as you are. If you want to wear shorts and sandals – wear shorts and sandals. If you like to dress up – dress up. But don’t do it for me or for other people here. Wear what you want. Be who you are. For that is the person God made you to be. Again, “You are invited to live the life of the Beloved.”
But if you are wondering Luther’s catechism question, “What does that mean?” or if you are wondering what concrete steps could I take to address the issue of loneliness in myself or in my community, then I have a few ideas to share.
The first comes from the Surgeon General himself. In an interview by professor and religious author Kate Bowler, Dr. Vivek Murthy shared some ideas that his department is challenging people to do. He calls it the 5 by 5 challenge – do 5 actions over the next 5 days. There are only three actions: Express gratitude to someone; or extend support to someone or by ask for help of someone. Those three things – mix them up however you want –but he believes that if you do those three things Express gratitude to someone; or extend support to someone or by ask for help of someone for five days you will not only feel less lonely yourself but that you will help others to feel less lonely.3 Those actions seem pretty simple, right? They also seem very much in line with loving others as Christ loves us.
We as the church know how to do these things – express gratitude, serve the neighbor and invite the neighbor, the other, to help. I would also add, invite someone to share in fellowship with you. For example, invite someone to come to roast a hotdog or share a s’more at the Gathering this summer. Invite someone to Treats and talk or to catch a beverage after church or after work. And then – something that we can do that not everyone does – Pray. Pray for the courage to love your neighbor and then pray for your neighbor too. These are a few of the ways that we can live as the beloved community. Again, as Nouwen says, “You are invited to live the life of the Beloved.” I look forward to living into this beloved community with you and learning with you the unique ways that the Holy Spirit is calling you and us to do this Holy work. Amen.
2 Nick Tangen, https://nicholastangen.com/facing-an-epidemic-of-loneliness-in-our-neighborhoods/
3 https://katebowler.com/podcasts/made-to-belong/